You'd love her anyway

In response to some of the well-meaning, silly things people say when you have a child with a disability, I left this comment on a fellow-mom's Blog the other day: 

I tend to believe the quote: "God doesn't call the qualified, but He qualifies the called."  We're not special, but we're willing, and that's a big deal to God. I was listening to a lady's testimony that had a difficult time getting pregnant and then she FINALLY did, and the baby was born with many, many birth defects and died days later.  In her frustration she asked God "Why?" and she said the answer came, "Because I knew you would love her anyway." That's been more than 10 years ago, but it stuck with me and now I know why.  So, when I'm feeling particularly frustrated and asking God "Why?" I think, "Because He knew I'd love her anyway." He also knew my weaknesses and failures would cause me to run TO Him and not FROM Him and He can't say that for everyone. 

I was thinking about the often OVERUSED quote, "God won't put more on you than you can bear."  It's a quote that's used many times with things that God never put on us.  The loving God I know doesn't go around "putting" things on people, trying to see who can bear the most.  I've thought many times about what that quote means.  As a younger Christian I thought it simply meant, God won't put too much on you. But then I began to think, what is too much? If it were up to us to decide what "too much" meant, we would've cried Uncle! a long time ago.  Does "too much" mean, he won't let it kill you?  I'm sorry folks, but barely living is not good enough for me.  It's not what my life was meant to be about. 


As a more experienced Christian I am inclined to think it means, God will allow you to bear just enough that you will gain wisdom, strength, and the knowledge that you need Him.  I don't despise anything that I've been through because ultimately, it has taught me to cry out to Him more than any pulpit message could ever do.  And your "cry out" point is not necessarily my "cry out" point---Oh, I had a difficult time with this at first. I had a difficult time understanding why it seemed some people got to breeze through live obliviously while others were forced to stumble? I had to let this line of questioning go because I finally learned that some things are beyond human understanding.  Some things aren't even intended for human understanding.  Another lesson I learned was that you don't want to EV-ER try to walk in another man's shoes. Comparing yourself to others will lead you nowhere.  Nobody has their version of easy, because, like I said before, every person's cry out point is different.  Some of the same people that say things to me like, "I don't know how you do it", I look at those people's lives and think the very same thing.  Besides, everything that glitters ain't gold.


I believe He will allow us to go through things that are meant to strengthen our muscles, while drawing us close to Him at the same time.  Unused muscles don't get stronger right?  It's the same in the spiritual sense as well.  We have to know that it is "not by our might, but by His spirit".  That's a BIG lesson I've had to learn the hard way, still learning actually.  We have to willingly give up the wheel because He won't force us to do so.  He also likes to be able to use our lives as testimonies.  I heard Jay-Z say the other day that he has learned so much from failure, but he was still trying to figure out how to learn from success.  I think it's so true that we learn so much from our tests and trials, not when things are going great.  So, even though it is difficult at times, I try to do two things:  Let my life be a living testimony to the goodness, grace, and mercy of God & learn from the times where I failed, stumbled, struggled, or didn't even try.  I hope that's what He's asking of me.  I think it is.  I think it's what He's asking of all of us.  Pray for me in the times when I stumble through it all, as well as the times when it looked like I got it right.  Be blessed.